sound advice:
sex is different, embrace it
"Women need to hold on to their lust, nurture it. That, to me, is tantamount. To not lose that sense of sexiness, of desire, of pleasure. Men experience physical changes too. The way sex unfolds for them as they age —things slow down for them. And so, as they confront these changes, what would be helpful is to roll with it. Not to get anxious. When the nerves come, allow them. Having empathy allows for the partners to not have anxiety about sex."
be more open not less
"We can't allow ourselves to fall into the trap of bitterness. That will eat you up from the inside. Yes, joy and all that other shit is important. But having the ability to put yourself in the other's shoes — from dating to ordering a cup of coffee to handing in an assignment to your supervisor — allows for you to be kinder, more open, more full. What a gift that is, at this point in our lives."
the problem with men in their 50s
In fact, says Karp, it’s older men who often need a reality check in every facet: looks, fashion, but especially health. “Men have to approach eating in a healthy way,” she says. “It’s not about being skinny or fat. It’s having a lifestyle that keeps them going past 60.”